This was all before you, and if I would’ve known I’d like to think I could have handled all of this differently. He was a memory, a beautiful dream of what could have been. Then I looked across the room, my mind a mixture of torture and exhaustion. There he was. How could it be that he was standing there?
I can still remember the words as they easily slid from your lips. “There is someone I want you to meet…this is my brother Eric.”
My entire body turned to stone and yet your eyes continued to gaze at me with such adoration. How could I have let this go on? Why didn’t I just walk away from the both of you when I had the chance?
I panicked. I admit it. I didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t just blurt it out. “You’re the man I had a night with and can’t forget. Oh by the way nice to meet you...” It was easier to hide it. Bury it and hope you never found out.
That’s not what happened though is it? I’m sorry I am weak. I am sorry I just…I couldn’t walk away. I don’t know why. I don’t know what the hell I’m doing! Everything is so out of control. I don’t know which way is up. I can’t get my bearings and I don’t know what to do. Sometimes I wonder what my friend Charlie would say? Maybe someday I can ask you.
I love you Charlie, I always will, as a wonderful friend. I have tried to tell you so many times but everything is mashed together. We’re all spinning, reacting and preparing for the next disaster. I am so sorry for all of this, for being a self centered loathsome creature. You have been so good to me, I never wanted to hurt you.
You deserve to know the truth. So how do I tell you the truth? How do I face you after all of the horrid things I’ve done.? I guess that is my punishment. This is all my fault and I need to take the blame and make it right some how.
Charlie, I am so sorry but I’m in love with your brother…
Author Amy Romine writing as Rebecca Gailen, heroine of the Trust Me series... http://www.amyromine.com