Friday, February 3, 2012

How To Survive In A Vampire Neighborhood

Zoe_Lionheart_100 Ooookay. By the instructions on "Ten Ways To Recognize A Vampire Neighborhood" I gave you last time, you've determined that you might be in trouble. Now what can you do about it?

Obviously, you could simply move. But that takes time to prepare, time you might not have, unless you're willing to desert your present life and burn all your bridges. Because, if the Vampires learn you've found out about them, they might not want to let you go, or worse, might want to follow you to make sure you won't pass on what you've learned.

Is there any other option for you? Of course there is, and that's what this blog is about.

Let me first recap the ultimate goals:

First, you don't want to be bitten.
Second, obviously, you don't want to be transformed.
Third, you still want to live a normal life.

Luckily, there are a number of things you can do. Some are obvious, some may surprise you.

  1. Be careful about going out at night, be selective about your company and make sure you never come home alone after sunset. If they can't get you alone, Vampires may look for easier prey.
  2. Don't invite any strangers into your house after sunset. Tell them to return around noon. Only if you've seen them walking in sunlight, they may visit you late.
  3. The same applies to new friends. Don't bring them home from bar or dance on the same night. Tell them you're old-fashioned and want to meet for a coffee (around noon) before inviting them to your place… or following them to their place.
  4. Another option is to eat lots of garlic. This makes you less attractive to a Vampire, however, it also makes you less attractive to the ordinary human lover. It's a tradeoff, and if you re-read my statements above, I didn't promise you an easy way out, right?
  5. Start wearing gothic neckwear and wristwear yourself, especially the stuff with spikes. This gives you a few seconds during which a hungry Vampire must search for another place to bite - perhaps the soft skin of your thighs? Yeah, sturdy leather pants help, too.
  6. Wearing black and covering your neck might lead a Vampire to the misconception you're already engaged with another - he/she might check this first before approaching you and taking chances with a superior Vampire. However, this only lasts for a while.
  7. On the other hand, when it comes to colors, avoid red and white. See my blog entry on "What To Wear At A Vampire Ball" for details.
  8. Carry a wooden stake with you and begin to train how to use it. Also train your state of mind: You must be willing to kill a sentient, even if undead, being in order to save your own life, and you must do it the gory way. It needs a lot of effort to penetrate skin with a wooden stake, and if you hesitate, you're busted.
  9. Re-read the "Ten Unusual Ways To Kill A Vampire" and start obtaining the necessary tools.
  10. Buy a Car Vampires Like. See my previous blog to learn how this may help you.
These hints may buy you time, if not your life. However, there's no guarantee. In the end, they're the predators, and we're the prey. Sorry.


Click here for more of Valerie’s books

No comments:

Post a Comment