Friday, December 31, 2010

New Year Resolutions

With the new year literally hours away, I wanted to touch base with you on a few simple, yet effective things that could make your new year even better.

First, if you are the type of person to set goals for yourself, for the Goddess’s sake, set realistic goals. It will do you no good to set up climbing Mount Everest if you’ve never even hiked a trail before and it’s just plain dumb to think you can. That is a long term goal that requires years of practice. Speaking of…

Second, know the difference between long term and short term goals. Again, climbing Mount Everest with no prior experience is a long term goal. Quitting smoking, long term goal. Losing 100 pounds, long term goal. Getting your masters degree when you haven’t even enrolled in college yet, very long term goal.

Whereas, realizing that you eat with the same mouth you cuss with and deciding to clean up your act is a short term goal.

Now, I will share with you the one thing that has chipped my fangs this past year. No, it’s not a pretty sight or subject to broach, and its definitely not something you want to set your goals on for the new year.

Okay, the entire pants around your ankles thing came from prison. Yes, prison. It’s how “seasoned” inmates proclaim their newest plaything and I’m not talking Barbie dolls, here. Yeah, not something I aspire to proclaim to the world, but hey, that’s just me.

Just in case no one told you, please, allow me to bitch slap some reality your way.

This is a sexy butt. This is something I wouldn’t mind seeing everywhere I went. This is the kind of butt that sends warm fuzzy’s trickling up and down my spine.

This is nasty and honestly, it just makes me want to hurl. I’m also kind-of embarrassed for these people. Do they not realize that they have become the laughing stock of common sense. Really? There’s no comparison.

While you’re setting your new year resolutions remember to keep it short, sweet, realistic and obtainable and for the love of blood, use your common sense!

Oh and one more thing…do you know how much blood is wasted on New Years Day? If you want to spill blood, go to your local blood bank, but don’t drink and drive.