Friday, October 7, 2011

Newly transformed Vampires 101

Zoe_Lionheart_100 As promised last month, this time I give some advice on the Do’s and Don’ts for newly transformed Vampires. A few points you may have guessed, but perhaps I can surprise you here and there?

  1. Obey superior Vampires. Failing to observe this rule may have you killed quicker than a sunbath, and by "killed" I mean "permanently removed from your undead existence". Who’s superior? Initially, you’d better regard all other Vampires as superior. I give you a clue: You won’t have inferiors until you’ve transformed your first victim yourself.
  2. Stay out of the sunlight. That also applies to indirect sunlight redirected by mirrors. If you’ve read my previous blog entry "You’ve decided to become a Vampire – How To Do It?", your daytime hideout is prepared, otherwise you’re in trouble now. It hurts if you don’t watch out, but sunlight won’t kill you quickly. There’s a reason why exposing a Vampire to the sun is the penalty for the worst things a Vampire could do. Like annoying a Vampire aristocrat, and that leads to…
  3. Do not annoy Vampire aristocrats. They are used to have their way, and there’s a certain amount of relentlessness (or stubbornness) involved.
  4. Get used to drink blood. Regular consumption of blood will not only keep you alive, but will also allow you to retain your self-control – which you need to obey the rules. But drinking blood isn’t as easy as you might think.
    You can do what Vampires have done all the time: bite a victim and suck blood. That’s messy, and your victim won’t like it, unless you command the tricks that come with being a Vampire (see below). You might accidentally kill your victim, which will get you in trouble with the local authorities, which in turn will draw attention to your new way of unlife, which in turn will annoy superior Vampires. Or you don’t kill your victim, but leave it severely drained of blood and with two very telltale marks on their necks. Or you might accidentally start the transformation of your victim – but as you don’t know how it works, you might create a Beast. Never heard of that? Guess why.
    You can try to raid a human blood depot, which again will alert the local authorities. You can try to feast on animal blood. That will work, but it tastes awful, so I’ve been told. Perhaps it’s the best way for a newbie, though, and that’s what I mean: better get used to it.
  5. Avoid people with pointy wooden stakes. You may have heard that Vampires are faster and stronger, but that doesn’t apply to you yet, and you better assume those people knowing what they’re doing.
  6. Find out your vulnerabilities. Sunlight and wooden stakes are not the only threats to Vampires, but the only ones that are shared among all. There are other vulnerabilities, which apply to some Vampires and not to others. Like holy symbols, holy water or garlic. For example, Greek Vampires like garlic, and a cross doesn’t mean a thing to Chinese Vampires. Instead the latter are very vulnerable to Dragon fire and Dragon claws. And you? Who knows, for example you might find out that you can be hurt by root beer. You should better know before getting sprayed by an exploding can.
  7. Learn to command Vampire tricks. Start with the easy ones, like disappearing from mirrors*. Try to hypnotize other people, to make them stop or stand on one leg. Don’t try to bite them yet! Try to run faster, make sharp turns at full speed, come to a halt in an instant. Try to walk the ceiling, but start over a soft mattress. Practice extracting and retracting your fangs. Don’t try to transform into a bat yet, you wouldn’t like to get stuck halfway. Ask for advice on this one. Also ask for advice on how to make a victim forget being bitten and how to make the fang marks heal.
  8. Be considerate about the way you dress up. Check my May blog entry "What To Wear At A Vampire Ball", these rules may also help you in your everynight unlife.
  9. Don’t have sex during the first month. That rule may sound hard – especially as you’ll soon find out that your breasts feel firmer or your cock larger and you’re more easily aroused – but you don’t have the necessary self-control yet, and you don’t want to have an accident. Vampire sex usually comes with some biting. Oh, you didn’t notice while you were a mortal? See – you still need to learn a lot!
  10. Don’t frown upon stale smell – that’s an Old Vampire you don’t want to annoy.
  11. Stay with the Vampire who transformed you. He/she will guide you and teach you.
  12. Go to work regularly. Yes, of course the night shifts only. You need to pay your landlord yourself, don’t expect anyone else to do that for you. Vampires, even the lesser ones, are expected to be self-dependent.
  13. Learn the rules. This 101 will take you some way, but your Vampire community may have their own specific rules, and you’d better know them.
  14. If you’re female: Don’t worry about your monthlies. Never again.
  15. If you plan to become a Vampire aristocrat, and you don’t have a highborn sponsor, prepare yourself for the Examination. I’ll elaborate on that next month.
* I might have fooled you with this one: it comes automatically. But it may have given you a feeling of early success, didn’t it?

Coming Soon:

Lioness’' Dream


The discovery of a doomsday device in the heart of Denver has clearly told Zoe and April that they’re running out of time. They may have only days left to save mankind from annihilation, and they still have to locate their enemy. There’s no choice but to try something new,which may alienate Zoe from April’s side. Are the two women prepared to pay that price? And is mankind willing to let itself be saved? Or would that just be a pact with a different kind of evil?


  1. (Note: Lioness' Dream has been released Oct 1st)

  2. LOL--this is so creative and FUN to read! I'll visit back!

    hugs, Kari Thomas,