Friday, September 2, 2011

You’ve decided to become a Vampire – How To Do It?

Zoe_Lionheart_100 Well, after having spent a long time with your Vampire partner (long from your mortal point of view), you might consider making your relationship permanent. And you know what that means. But don’t be hasty. Check the three steps to the Dark side:

1. Why You Should Become A Vampire (two months ago)

2. Why You Shouldn’t Become A Vampire (last month)

3. You’ve decided to become a Vampire – How To Do It? (this month)

You’ve already checked the lists, now you want to know how. I’m about to get to that, but first, ask yourself three questions:

One – do you really, really, really want to sacrifice your immortal soul and become an immortal, but still perishable creature of the night?


Okay, read on.

Two – what kind of career are you striving for? Do you want to become a lesser Vampire? Or do you want to become a member of the Aristocracy of the Night?

Let’s start with the would-be easy part. To become a lesser Vampire, you have to be bitten three times. That’s it, you think? No. For one, you have to survive the first two bites without dying. That’s not entirely trivial, you know? Because you might find out it’s hard to survive without blood. For two, after the third bite you’ll have to survive the transformation. The process is not entirely pleasant in the first place, and if you’re accidentally exposed to sunlight during the change, you’ve fouled it all up.

Right after the change, you need to drink blood yourself. You have to find an innocent victim, bite it, and suck out its blood. That’s the easy part – you have to know that, if you are able to overcome your disgust and really start drinking this warm, pulsating, smelly liquid, you’ll find out you can’t stop easily. You’re starved, you’re not used to it, you don’t know about self-control. You will drink your victim dry (of course without transforming it) and thus kill it. This is a sacrifice you need to be prepared for.

As a lesser Vampire, you have to stay out of the sunlight and drink blood from time to time, which you probably have guessed already. But that’s just the very basics, I’ll go into more detail with my next article, “Newly transformed Vampires 101”. In exchange you usually get quick regeneration, enhanced senses and gradually more power.

To become a Vampire aristocrat, there are usually two options. One, you’re born noble, that is, your father was noble when he sired you and has been transformed later. Rather infeasible, ain’t it? Two, you’re adopted by a noble and the adoption is approved by (a) an assembly of Vampires or (b) a very high-ranking Vampire aristocrat. This will work best if your Vampire friend is that high-ranking aristocrat – again, very unlikely, you could tell from the smell – or is a noble and has the proper connections.

Still, the approval procedure will again be unpleasant, being bitten by your new fellow Vampires is the least trouble you’ll expect. Let’s just say it comes with a lot of pain and public disgrace, okay? Perhaps I’ll write about the Examination on another occasion.

You’re still willing to do it? Okay, last question.

Three – how much fun do you want to have?

You can let your Vampire friend do the entire process in a dark, little chamber. That’s an intimate way, and I can imagine it being nice. It may as well be that you’re left alone with your pain and your terror during the day – no fun.

Or you can go to a Vampire ball wearing a crimson scarf and apron. Read the related post if you don’t remember what it means. In this case you’ll not only have a lot of sex and bites, you’ll also make the assembly favor your adoption, as this shows you’ve already adopted the Vampire lifestyle.


Now that you know that you want to do it and how you want to do it, you’ll go ahead? No. There are two categories of preparations you’ll have to walk through.

One – close down your mortal life. Are there any things you can only do in daylight? Like calling a plumber?

Do you have to give away your pet? Most cats or dogs won’t tolerate Vampires. Snakes wouldn’t care, and guinea pigs, well, they don’t know better.

Think of cancelling your fitness studio membership. Install an answering machine for your phone. Call your friends – at least those who might call the police if you don’t show up for a week or two – and tell them you’re on a vacation.

What about your job? Vampire aristocrats don’t work, but as a lesser Vampire you might have to, in order to pay your landlord.

Find a safe place to stay during the day. Safe means, no one with a wooden stake and mischief on his/her mind will find it. The best place might be a parliament hall without windows.

Two – get ready for Day One. Read your Vampire 101. That is, wait at least until next month.

By the rules she’s established herself, Zoe appears guilty, and the death warrant has to be issued. She will never break her own rules, even if it means having to execute herself. Can April find a way to convince her soulmate otherwise?

(Click here to purchase this ebook)

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