Friday, December 25, 2009

Vampire Gift Giving – Some things are just wrong!

With the passing of this holiday called Christmas, I’ve noticed several things given as gifts that even in your human world are just wrong. These things have trampled across the lines of acceptable behavior and should not be tolerated. I have personally witnessed young boys and girls falling victim to the obsessive behavior that unfortunately is now synonymous with vampires. In fact, we consider it an insult.

If you have received any of these, I encourage you to run, don’t walk, back to the store where it was purchased and demand your money back.

Be aware that it is not only considered a genetic mutation to sparkle, but contradicts the very essence of the fear and power we can instill when your intended victim can’t stop laughing.
It’s messy and it’s stupid!

Vampires do NOT need Energy drinks! Whomever came up with this idea, is an idiot and has no clue as to our true abilities.

Yes, you are seeing right. These little beauties are underwear with Edwards face all over them. I don’t understand why anyone would wear underwear in the first place or much less, why they would wear undies with his face on them!

We have made the most exquisite jewelry on this planet and this is what you humans consider our jewelry? This is an insult!

And this? This is ridiculous! No vampire in the history of vampirism has EVER worn silver dentures!
If you’re a vampire and need dentures, you’ve got serious problems. Get a clue!

For obvious reasons, this one is my favorite. Can you feel the dry humor in this?

I hope that I have made my point.


  1. Oh my I can't believe some of these things, do humans really buy this kind of crap? If so I think we could easily make millions selling junk better than this on late night television.

    We could combine a couple of these things, I am thinking we could combine the Edward face panties and toilet paper, let your imagination run wild with that!

    Merry Christmas here is some Edward toilet paper.

  2. Lots of insults there. What about a nice silver necklace? Or black leathers, always fashionable? Even some glow-in-the-dark stuff would be more fun...
    Cheers Val

  3. ROFLMAO!!!
    I like the very last one. to me, it implies batshit. LOL!!!!
    Whoever made that stuff needs to be slapped. HARD.