I fear I’ve made a mistake

Today, you find me in a somber mood. I know that’s not my usual, but I fear that I have caused irreparable damage to what was left of my relationship with Tamara.

I sought her out today, and with good reason I may add, but things did not work out well when we were finally alone.

It seems that lately, I have an uncanny way of saying all the wrong things, at the wrong time and today was no exception. I wanted to see for myself that Tamara was alright. It’s hard to explain, but I just knew something terrible had happened to her. So, I lied to Abby and went in search of Tamara.

I found the safe house, well, the Station House is what the Hightower's call it and I went in looking for answers. Why don’t people understand that I just needed reassurance that she was alright. In the end, I did see Tamara, but I managed to kick some of her fledglings asses and I accidentally staked one of them in the gut, with a chair leg. I know it sounds funny and you know, even Tamara laughed when she saw it. She called Vanessa a dumb ass for allowing herself to get staked with a chair leg. Vanessa will be okay, I didn’t cause any major damage for which, I’m grateful not to give Tamara another reason to hate me.

I tried to remind her of the love we once shared and she just had to ask about Abby. Why can’t she just accept things the way they are right now? Nothing ever stays the same, and with enough time, I’m sure we would have ended up back together again. Now, I’m not so sure.

I wish I could go into more detail. You’ll have to trust me when I say that I love Tamara deeply and today was not the outcome I was looking for. She gave me an ultimatum, and I quote, “Next time, you show up at one of my houses, you had better be prepared to stay or break the bond between us. My patience grows thin.”

I guess, I should be grateful that she didn’t kill Abby today, but thinking that I’ve ruined the possibility of us ever getting back together, I’m not finding comfort in her sparing Abby’s life.